HOW TO DEAL WITH BEING GHOSTED

WHAT IS GHOSTING?

Incase you are not conversant with the term "ghosting", it is the act of simply cutting off all forms of bond with someone without telling them why or without prior notice. It usually involves ignoring calls, not acknowledging texts, emails and avoiding any form of communication.

Ghosting could also mean reading someone's messages and deciding not to reply for a very long time. It is considered to be a silent treatment approach which is so unempathetic, immature and very cruel. Ghosting usually leaves the "ghostee" (The one who's being ghosted) in a state of abandonment and uncertainty, wondering if he/she has done or said anything wrong in the previous meeting or chat. 

When this happens, you bite yourself so hard, wishing you have done things very differently. You try to over-analyze and overthink everything that happened before they ghosted you. Ghosting is however for wimps of the highest order. Anyone who indulges in it doesn't worth your time and energy. A person who ghosts you because they no longer want to be with you anymore with no rational explanation is heartless and emotionally cruel. Ghosting is not the best way to dissolve or deal with conflict, it's rather an intentional of way hurting someone. 

Know that people who ghosts have history of ghosting other people and are matured enough to know what they are doing, because for someone to ignore you and cut you off suddenly from their lives, proves that they don't regard you in any sense. 

On the contrary, the reason for the ghosting might not even be about you. However there are hundred and one reason why someone may have you ghosted.      

TYPE OF GHOSTING

1. The on & off ghosting: This type of ghosting usually involves the ghoster going on and off constantly. They chat you up once in a blue moon and disappear all of or sudden without acknowledging your reply to their new chat. They come again after a while acting like everything is super cool, coming up with a fresh chat. If you have ever noticed this kind of people in your life, avoid them because they are going to do this repeatedly.

2. The ones that totally disappears and reappears few years later: This type of ghosting is usually the most cruel type of ghosting. They just disappear from your life without saying what you did wrong, leaving you feeling frustrated, hurt and abandoned for a long time. Then all of sudden reappears years later, acting like they never left or even did anything wrong. When they come back, pretend like you never even noticed that they left your life. Try as much as possible not to accept them back into your life because you never mattered to them.

 3. The ones that lurks behind the blinds watching your all moves and stories: This type of ghosting, the ghoster is always visible on most of your social media platforms after abruptly disappearing from your life. In most cases they are always the first person to check your new posts and stories. Some even go as far as liking your posts.They watch everything you do, yet they will never dim it fit to give compliment even if it's your birthday. I personally would consider this type of ghosting classless, immature and unprofessional. The best thing you can do for yourself is to restrict them from your social media platform to avoid been bitter everyday.                                                                                                                           

Seven tips to help you deal after carefully identifying that you have been ghosted;

1. Be unbothered: You need  to learn how to be done with people without getting bothered, pained or sad. I know how hurting ghosting can make you feel because, I've once being in that shoes. I can say pretty well that it hurts badly to be ghosted by someone you once had mutual connection with. It will definitely feel like a loss at the beginning, so my advice for you here is to move on gracefully like you were never connected with them.Try as much as possible not to take it personal, else you are going to live everyday with their memories lingering in your head. Move on with your life! 

2. Focus on your own healing: Don't torture yourself  because of what has happened, it's time to focus more on your dreams, hobbies, pleasure, healing and life. Take actions to make yourself happier than even before.

3. Face the reality: Accept the fact that you have be ghosted and move on as soon as possible. Stop day dreaming and accept the reality by staying strong.

4. Talk to someone about it: If it is hard to move on, talk to someone about it, at least this will ease you of your uncertainty.

5. Don't contact them: The no contact rule can come to play after initially reaching out to them when you noticed they ghosted you and there was no response. Try not to contact them again, else you would seem too desperate. Just let them be.

6. Be nice to yourself: I know how miserable being ghosted can make you feel, however you should embrace what has happened and move on by recognizing people who are good enough for you. Don’t punish yourself by not opening up your heart for a new relationship. 

7. Let it go: It's time to let the sleeping dog lie, you have to stop dwelling on what has happened and start channeling your energy on what the future holds for you.

Have you ever been ghosted? kindly share your experience in the comments!